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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26849131">Bangan Drabbles</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChameleonCircuit/pseuds/ChameleonCircuit'>ChameleonCircuit</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Law &amp; Order: SVU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, First Kiss, First Meetings, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Smut, M/M, Meet-Cute, Sickfic, bangan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 16:27:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,393</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26849131</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChameleonCircuit/pseuds/ChameleonCircuit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Originally from a huge compilation of drabbles, these are a collection of drabbles for the pairing Bangan.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rafael Barba/Trevor Langan, bangan - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. First Kiss</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter tags: fluff, first kiss</p><p>http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/170262201537/bangan-first-kiss</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Trevor contemplated taking Rafael’s hand as they exited the restaurant, but he didn’t want to be too forward. They’d been dancing around this for almost a year now, before he had eventually plucked up the nerve to ask Rafael out to dinner. As much as he has enjoyed their evening, he didn’t want to assume anything.</p><p>“Shall I walk you home?” He offered instead, giving Rafael a shy smile.</p><p>“You going to protect me from predators?” Rafael teased with a smirk, but there was a softness in his eyes that told Trevor he appreciated the sentiment more than he would ever let on.</p><p>As they fell into step, shoulders and bumping every so often, and hands brushing, Trevor wondered if the electricity he could feel between them was mutual. He kept trying to steal glances, perhaps catch Rafael looking at him, but every time he did the other mans eyes were elsewhere.</p><p>They seemed to reach Rafael’s apartment block all too soon, and Trevor felt his stomach flutter with nerves. This part of a date was where he always faltered. He was never quite sure if to go for a kiss, a hug, or a terribly formal handshake. None ever felt quite like the right option.</p><p>“Tonight was nice,” he offered, ducking his head, though it did nothing to hide his face from his date.</p><p>“Indeed,” Rafael said quietly, offering him the softest smile Trevor had ever seen on his face as he stepped a little closer.</p><p>“I’d, erm, like to do it again?” He stuttered out, blinking as he cursed himself internally for his own awkwardness.</p><p>“Me too.”</p><p>“Oh,” he felt himself sag with relief. “Excellent.”</p><p>“You thought I’d say no?” Rafael quirked a brow, smirking again.</p><p>“I didn’t want to presume...”</p><p>Rafael cut him off by reaching up to cup his face softly, before sliding his hand down his neck and into the strands of hair at his nape.</p><p>“You’re gonna have to work with me here,” Rafael said with a breath of laughter, leaning up on tiptoes.</p><p>Trevor was quick to lean in and meet the other man half way, lips crashing together a little clumsily at first, before it softened into something bordering on perfect. He took a deep breath in as he pulled back, resting their foreheads together.</p><p>“Thank you,” he whispered, closing his eyes for a moment as Rafael’s hands slid down his sides to his waist.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Valentines</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter tags: fluff</p><p>http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/170856133352/bangan-valentines</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rafael woke up to the smell of bacon wafting into the bedroom. He rubbed his eyes, propping himself up with a slight groan. Just as he was about to push himself out of bed entirely, his eye caught on a bright red spot on the duvet cover. He leaned forward, reaching out to touch it, when he noticed more peppered along the end of the bed.</p><p>Gently, he brushed his fingers along the spot of red closest to him, mouth turning up into a smile at the velvety touch of the rose petal beneath his fingertips.</p><p>Carefully, unwilling to disturb the petals, though he had no idea why, he slipped out of bed, pulling on a pair of light, cotton shorts, before following what he now realised was a trail, all the way into the living area of their rented cottage.</p><p>In the middle of the table was a single rose sitting in a thin glass vase, with a small black box sitting beside it. He eyed the box warily before glancing up, realising Trevor was watching him over the counter from the kitchen.</p><p>“Happy Valentines day, love,” he said softly, smile fond.</p><p>Rafael rolled his eyes, but his smile was equally fond as he moved around the table, decidedly not looking at the little black box again, to take a seat at the bench.</p><p>“Pancakes, bacon, and eggs. Hope you’re hungry,” Trevor said, sliding a large plate piled with food over to Rafael.</p><p>He rolled his eyes again, taking in the sight of a chocolate heart cooked into the middle of his pancake, but he was still smiling, a warmth spreading throughout him. He took a deep, steadying breath before looking up at his partner.</p><p>“How did you cook the heart into it?”</p><p>Trevor laughed, turning away to compile his own plate of food. “It wasn’t easy, that’s for sure. The two pancakes below that one, and my three pancakes are all testament to that.”</p><p>He slid his plate towards Rafael, allowing him to see the swirly mess of chocolate in his pancake as he made his way around the divide.</p><p>“How about we sit at the table?”</p><p>Rafael nodded, stomach fluttering with nerves as he picked up his plate, following Trevor to the table. He could hear the waves crashing against the shore outside and used the sound as a calming anchor.</p><p>“Why do you look so worried?” Trevor asked with a frown, hand brushing Rafael’s lightly before he picked up his knife and fork.</p><p>Against his will, Rafael’s eyes drifted towards the black box before he focused on his food, cutting off a large piece of pancake to pop in his mouth.</p><p>“I’m not proposing,” Trevor said with an uncomfortable laugh after an equally uncomfortable silence. He nudged the box towards Rafael. “Open it.”</p><p>Rafael was surprised at the way his stomach sunk at that. He didn’t want to get married. He’d thought about it, but it didn’t feel right, not yet, with everything else going on. And he certainly didn’t want to get engaged on Valentines day. Still, he felt a flutter of disappointment as he reached for the box with shaky hands.</p><p>Gently, carefully, as though it would break otherwise, he opened the box, a small smile gracing his lips as he saw its contents.</p><p>Inside, cushioned by black velvet, were two sets of matching cufflinks. They were simple silver bars with a small green gem pressed into one end, and a small blue gem pressed into the other, barely noticeable unless up close.</p><p>“They’re our birthstones,” Trevor said with a shrug, a blush rising on his cheeks. “If it’s too sappy, I can–”</p><p>“I love it,” Rafael whispered, cutting him off as he leaned forward, pulling Trevor towards him so he could press a rushed kiss to his lips.</p><p>“You do?” Trevor sounded surprised.</p><p>“Of course. It’s perfectly understated,” Rafael paused, hands fiddling with the sleeve of Trevor’s tee. “I love you.”</p><p>The last part was whispered, but Rafael made sure to keep his eyes on Trevor, if only to gauge his expression. At first, he looked shocked, but then his face softened and his eyes lit up, and Rafael felt all his fear and doubt disappear as Trevor pulled him in for a soft, languid kiss.</p><p>“I love you too,” he murmured against Rafael’s lips. “Now eat your breakfast before it goes cold.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Married Before Canon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter tags: only mention of bangan - this is a conversation between Sonny and Rafael</p><p>http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/170888168252/bangan-married-before-canon</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You’re married,” Sonny stated, seemingly out of the blue.</p><p>Rafael glanced up, stomach fluttering a little at the accusation and the truth of it, as he looked Sonny in the eye. Sonny's eye, it seemed, was on the gold band on his finger that he’d put on for comfort earlier and had forgot to remove.</p><p>“Yes, and?” He replied, voice calm, face neutral, despite the unexpected nerves bubbling up inside of him.</p><p>“You never said.”</p><p>Rafael frowned slightly, taking in the slight downturn of Sonny’s lips and the way his forehead creased just slightly, eyes wide and a little dim, and sighed softly.</p><p>“Don’t take it personally. I don’t talk about my private life at work.”</p><p>“But we’re friends,” Sonny said, frown deepening before he added, “Aren’t we?”</p><p>“Of course,” Rafael responded with a gentle smile, stomach still going for the gold in gymnastics.</p><p>“So why didn’t you tell me?”</p><p>“Look, Sonny,” Rafael said with a sigh, setting his pen down so he could show Sonny he had his full attention, if nothing more. “Liv’s my best friend, and I haven’t even told her yet. Okay? It’s just…” He paused, trying to find the right words. “I’ve never been friends with colleagues before. Not really. It’s not something I’m accustomed to, yet.”</p><p>“Would you have told me?”</p><p>“I like to think I would have, one day. When this didn’t feel so new.”</p><p>Sonny beamed at that, and the sight of it seemed to make Rafael’s anxiety slip away, a warmth spreading throughout him. <em>Someone outside of his immediate circle knew.</em></p><p>“Who is she?”</p><p>“<em>He</em>,” Rafael corrected, smirking at the way a blush settled across Sonny’s cheeks, his eyes going slightly wide, “is Trevor Langan.”</p><p>“The defense attorney?” Sonny half shouted, eyes going impossibly wider.</p><p>“The one and only,” Rafael deadpanned, picking up his pen again to tend to his notes.</p><p>“How–”</p><p>“I thought you were here to help me, Carisi, not hinder.”</p><p>“Right.” Rafael glanced up to see the crestfallen look on Sonny’s face, but he held back the flurry of guilt he felt. “Sorry. Of course.”</p><p>After five impossibly long minutes of silence, Rafael added, “He’s a good man, Sonny. You should meet him. Properly. Outside of work.”</p><p>“I’d like that,” Sonny said quietly, a soft smile on his face.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Librarian AU</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter tags: fluff, meet-cute, librarian au</p><p>http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/170930103602/librarian-rafael-bangan-au</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rafael pinched the bridge of his nose, heaving a sigh as he tried to focus on the book he was reading and not on the screaming child a few feet away from him. The child had been crying for at least ten minutes now. He still wasn’t sure on the etiquette of asking a mother with a noisy child to obey the rule of quiet in the library, or leave, so he preferred to ignore the situation altogether.</p><p>However, today had been long, full of people getting up in his face about not having certain books or study materials, and the headache that was now blooming across his forehead had been brewing all day. He was in desperate need of a coffee and he wasn’t allowed to drink any at his workstation.</p><p>“Why the fuck am I the only one stuck at this desk?” He muttered to himself, taking a deep, steadying breath in an attempt to calm himself.</p><p>“Um. Perhaps I should come back?” Said a deep voice, causing him Rafael to jump slightly, eyes wide as he looked up.</p><p>The man was tall, and terribly handsome, which would have been intimidating if it weren’t for his soft smile and his gentle, gray, concerned eyes.</p><p>“No,” Rafael said with a small shake of his head, smiling easily for the first time all day. “What can I help you with?”</p><p>“I’m looking for ‘The Vesuvius Club’ by Mark Gatiss, but, erm, I can’t seem to find it?” The man poised it as a question, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably, though he still smiled warmly at Rafael.</p><p>“Sure,” he breathed out, feeling slightly winded from being under the attention of someone so ridiculously attractive. It took him two seconds to find the book in the system and see that they only had one copy, and it was with someone. “Er, we have it, but it hasn’t come back yet.”</p><p>“Oh. That’s fine.”</p><p>“I can take your name and number and alert you when the book has been returned?” He suggested, face growing hot, though he wasn’t quite sure why.</p><p>“That would be great,” the man said, face breaking out into a breath-taking grin. “Trevor Langan.” He pulled out a business card for a law firm, scribbling his mobile number on the back of it before handing it to Rafael.</p><p>Rafael’s hands brushed over the embossed lettering, his stomach squirming with nerves at what he was about to do. Just as he opened his mouth to ask Trevor on a date, the man cut him off.</p><p>“I hope you’ll call me sooner than that. Perhaps when you’ve finished work, for coffee?” Trevor suggested, the light blush creeping up his neck the only thing giving away his nerves.</p><p>“I’d love that,” Rafael replied, sounding breathless, even to his own ears. “I’ll call you.”</p><p>“Great.”</p><p>“Great.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Blind Date</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter tags: blind date, fluff</p><p>http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/172430906512/bangan-blind-date</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rafael took a deep breath before entering the bar, his stomach fluttering with nerves. He couldn’t, for the life of him, work out why he had agreed to a blind date. He was desperately hoping it would get his mother off his back, but in reality, he knew that would never happen. When this didn’t go well – and he knew that, inevitably, it wouldn’t –- then his mother would be nagging him about finding a partner again, despite agreeing to this.<b><br/></b></p><p>His eyes scanned the half-full bar, looking for a man with a maroon tie and a glass of scotch waiting for him. When his eyes settled on Trevor Langan, smiling at him bashfully, eyes shining with uncertainty, he felt his heart leap into his throat. The defense attorney looked absolutely breathtaking as he stood to greet Rafael, cheeks flushed. He watched as Trevor’s tongue darted out to wet his lips, and his stomach flipped.</p><p>“Rafael,” he said softly, voice barely audible. “I didn’t know it would be you meeting me.”</p><p>Rafael felt his stomach drop, his uncertainty growing tenfold as he muttered a hasty apology.</p><p>“No need to apologize. It’s a pleasant surprise, I can assure you,” he said, flashing Rafael a shy smile. “I hope this is okay?”</p><p>“This is fine,” he breathed out, following Trevors lead and sliding into the booth after him.</p><p>Conversation flowed surprisingly easy after that. They managed to barely talk about work, and mostly talk about their experiences in college, their childhoods, and how they came to be pressured into a blind date. All too soon it was over, and Rafael found himself desperately wishing their evening didn’t have to end.</p><p>“This was nice,” Trevor said quietly, placing a hand on the small of Rafael’s back as he led him out the door. His skin burned under the touch, even through three layers of clothing. “I’d like to do it again?”</p><p>Rafael turned to look at him, impossibly tall and entirely too handsome. “I’d like that too.”</p><p>Trevor smiled, leaning into his space a little more, his hand resting on Rafael’s shoulder. He could see the uncertainty in the defense attorney’s face, so he made the decision for him, reaching up to pull Trevor’s face towards his. When their lips met, his heart threatened to leap out of his chest. He couldn’t help but smile, pleased when he felt it mirrored on the other man’s lips.</p><p>“Call me,” Rafael whispered, sliding a business card into Trevor’s pocket before releasing him, turning away without looking back.</p><p>He couldn’t wipe the smile off his face if he tried.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. "The only thing I can do is love you!”</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter tags: post 19x13, angst with a happy ending</p><p>http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/172429941027/80-the-only-thing-i-can-do-is-love-you-and</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Trevor let himself into Rafael’s apartment, their favorite Chinese takeout and a bottle of scotch in hand. He knew it couldn’t take the sting out of the day's events, but he also knew that, despite it being a hard decision, Rafael wanted –- needed –- to leave the DA’s office. Still, he expected to have to lift his partner's mood.</p><p>What he hadn’t expected was to find a hoard of empty boxes practically blocking his path to the living room.</p><p>“Raf?” he called out, toeing a few aside to make his path easier.</p><p>“Trevor.”</p><p>He turned towards the surprised voice to see Rafael standing at the entrance to his home office. He was still in the clothes he’d worn to the office, but the suspenders were hanging from his hips, his shirt was half untucked, his tie was loose and crooked, and the top two buttons of his shirt were undone. He looked a mess, and if Trevor wasn’t so concerned, he’d find it utterly endearing.</p><p>“You okay?” He asked, more out of a need to be polite than anything else. The answer was becoming increasingly obvious as Rafael tried to pat down the odd strands of hair that were sticking up on his head before moving stiffly around him to the kitchen, grabbing the bottle of scotch on his way past. Rafael was drunk and trying to hide it.</p><p>“I’m fine. What are you doing here?” Rafael asked as he poured them both a drink.</p><p>“I figured today was tough. I wanted to bring you dinner,” Trevor replied as he walked into the kitchen, setting the bag of food on the table to find plates.</p><p>“How kind of you,” Rafael muttered, voice laced with sarcasm. Still, he reached into the bag to take out the containers.</p><p>“The least I could do,” Trevor said with an awkward shrug, handing Rafael a plate before opening the fried rice.</p><p>The silence between them was heavy as they loaded their plates up and took their meals into the living room, Rafael bringing the bottle with him. There was too much space between them when they sat down. It was just enough that their thighs weren’t touching, but to Trevor, it felt like a gaping chasm, and he felt his stomach twist with unease.</p><p>“What’s with all the boxes?” He finally asked, eyes studying Rafael carefully.</p><p>Rafael sighed, placing his plate on the coffee table before turning to face Trevor, eyes serious and expression somber.</p><p>“I’m leaving,” he said quietly, as though that explained everything.</p><p>“Leaving…for good?" Rafael took a deep breath in, and Trevor felt his stomach swoop with anticipation. “Don’t.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Don’t go. Don’t leave,” Trevor knew he sounded desperate, but he didn’t care as he discarded his own food, leaning into Rafael’s space.</p><p>“Trevor, I-–”</p><p>“Please.”</p><p>“Trevor,” Rafael’s voice broke, and he cleared his throat, not meeting Trevor’s eyes. “You deserve someone whole, someone untarnished. Someone who’s not going to be seen for the rest of their life as a baby killer. You deserve someone who can give you the world, and I can’t do that.”</p><p>“Rafael-–”</p><p>“I’m damaged goods, Trevor. I’ll ruin your reputation. I have nothing to offer you.”</p><p>Trevor stared, stunned for a moment, before reaching out to take Rafael’s hands in his.</p><p><strong>“The only thing I can do is love you,”</strong> Rafael whispered, staring down at their hands. “I have nothing. I am nothing.”</p><p>Trevor huffed out a laugh, shaking his head as he brought a hand up to Rafael’s face, tilting his chin up just enough for their lips to meet.</p><p>“All I can ask is that you love me,” Trevor whispered, lips ghosting across Rafael’s. “It’s all I want –- all I need.”</p><p>“No, Trevor, you-–”</p><p>“It’s you and me. That’s enough.”</p><p>Rafael looked at Trevor through his lashes, eyes wet and wide and desperate.</p><p>“I love you,” Trevor whispered, pressing a kiss to Rafael’s forehead. “Please don’t go.”</p><p>Rafael gave a small nod, and Trevor pulled him against his chest, running a hand up and down his back as Rafael’s breath hitched.</p><p>They had a long way to go, but Rafael loved him, and to Trevor, that was everything.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Trevor Takes Rafael Somewhere Unusual</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter tags: unusual date, very light smut</p><p>http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/171371627307/trevor-takes-rafael-somewhere-unusual</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I have a surprise for you.”</p><p>Rafael glanced up from the book he was reading, narrowing his eyes at the borderline guilty expression on his partner’s face. </p><p>“Go on,” Rafael encouraged, neatly placing his bookmark inside the page as Trevor stood there, lips twitching with a hesitant smile.</p><p>“A date,” he elaborated.</p><p>“Normally when you take me out you don’t look so nervous about it,” Rafael said pointedly, placing his book down as he sat up straighter.</p><p>“Do you trust me?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>Trevor laughed, extending his hand, which Rafael took with a huff and an eye roll.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>As the cab drove on, their surroundings looking more and more industrial, Rafael felt a sense of unease fill him up.</p><p>“If what you have in mind requires physical exertion I’m taking this cab back home,” Rafael warned.</p><p>Trevor laughed, eyes glued out the window. “Patience.”</p><p>“If you’re planning on killing me your defense will have a hard time proving your innocence.”</p><p>“Stop being dramatic.”</p><p>“You’re the one with the secrets!” He half-shouted as the cab pulled up outside a building covered in artsy graffiti.</p><p>Trevor paid the driver and opened Rafael’s door for him when he refused to get out.</p><p>“Rafael,” Trevor warned with a sigh, extending his hand.</p><p>Reluctantly, Rafael took the proffered hand, allowing Trevor to drag him towards a building that definitely looked like a warehouse – not his first choice for a date.</p><p>“It’s a body painting class,” Trevor said in a rush, sounding almost breathless as a blush crept up his neck.</p><p>“A body painting class?”</p><p>“UV.”</p><p>“Right.”</p><p>“It’s stupid. I just thought–-”</p><p>“Shut up and let’s get it over with,” Rafael said with a sigh.</p><p>After the paints and techniques were explained to them and they went off to experiment, Rafael felt his nerves bubble up inside of him.</p><p>“I can’t paint,” he hissed, grabbing hold of the taller man's hand.</p><p>“Neither can I,” Trevor said with a laugh, squeezing Rafael’s hand. “I figured it’d be more sensual than anything else. I can paint on you first, if you like?”</p><p>Rafael nodded, allowing Trevor to remove his shirt, feeling somewhat self-conscious in a room full of people, even with the lights off.</p><p>The first touch of paint was cool on his skin, but it warmed up the more Trevor played around with it. He felt himself relax into Trevor’s touch; it felt almost like a massage, but different, more intimate somehow. He could see the lines and streaks across his body, a glowing representation of Trevor’s hands on him.</p><p>“I want to try,” he whispered, breath heavy as he took in the glow running across his skin.</p><p>Wordlessly, Trevor moved back, a small smile on his face as he took in the sight of Rafael.</p><p>Rafael leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to the corner of Trevor’s mouth before leaning back and taking hold of the tube of blue UV paint. Gently, he spread it across Trevor’s chest, admiring the way his partner’s body glowed under his touch. He felt the hairs on his arms rise as a shiver ran down his spine. He hadn’t imagined this could be so enjoyable, so sensual, so borderline sexual.</p><p>“God, you’re beautiful,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to Trevor’s shoulder as he swirled some pink into the blue.</p><p>If he were being completely honest with himself, he was making a mess. Trevor had marked him in a beautiful array of swirls and patterns. His body looked like a galaxy, lit up bright and vibrant – a true work of art. Trevor, on the other hand, was resembling little more than a sticky mess, and yet Rafael couldn’t even seem to care.</p><p>“Can we leave?” He whispered against Trevor’s ear, running his paint-slicked hands along the other man's back.</p><p>“We should shower fi-–”</p><p>“If we shower here, I’m fucking you here,” Rafael growled, grinding down against the taller man, just briefly, pleased to find him half-hard as well.</p><p>“Yeah. Yeah, let’s go,” he whispered breathlessly, allowing Rafael to pull him up off the ground, haphazardly pulling his shirt back on as they left the building.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Running into Liv on a Date</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter tags: fluff</p><p>http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/171190149537/bangan-run-into-liv-on-a-date-liv-doesnt-know</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rafael pressed a chaste kiss to Trevor’s lips, a promise of more as he ran his thumb along Trevor’s cheekbone before he took his seat on the opposite side of the table.</p><p>“Sorry I’m late,” he murmured, picking up the menu.</p><p>“I ordered you a scotch,” Trevor nodded towards the drinks coming their way, and Rafael felt himself relax properly, for the first time that day.</p><p>“Trevor Langan?”</p><p>Rafael froze at the sound of a familiar voice, and he watched as Trevor’s face went from his usual pleased smile to something far more uncomfortable.</p><p>“Olivia,” Trevor said quietly, attempting to school his expression.</p><p>Rafael was literally holding his breath, eyeing Trevor over the menu he was holding, a vague sense of panic bubbling up inside him. He wasn’t sure he was ready for Liv to find out about Trevor - not yet anyway - but it seemed he had no choice.</p><p>Without even looking, he could sense Liv’s sudden hesitation when she realized who Trevor was sitting with. He breathed out heavily before turning, a forced smile on his face, to look at her.</p><p>“Liv. Fancy seeing you here,” he said pointedly.</p><p>“I was thinking the same thing,” she said with a laugh, eyes comically wide as she took in the sight of them.</p><p>“If you don’t mind-–”</p><p>“Don’t think you’re getting away with not discussing this, Rafa,” she cut him off with a smirk. “Pleasure as always, Trevor.”</p><p>Before Rafael or Trevor could react, she was gone, grabbing her order from the waiter that was heading in her direction.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Rafael, I should-–”</p><p>“It’s not your fault,” he said quietly, reaching out to take his partner's hand. “Besides, it’s a conversation long overdue.”</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. "I don't care what anyone else thinks"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter tags: fluff, maybe light angst but definite happy ending</p><p>http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/172683708472/i-dont-care-what-anyone-else-thinks-bangan</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Better late than never. That’s what Trevor told himself as he made his way to Rafael’s office the same afternoon Rafael was found ‘not guilty’.</p><p>Better late than never.</p><p>He knocked quickly on the prosecutor’s door before he could think better of it, taking a small step back.</p><p>“It’s open.”</p><p>Trevor took a deep breath in before opening the door. He’d expected to see Rafael sitting at his desk writing notes, or sitting on the lounge pouring over notes, if he was even there at all. What he hadn’t been expecting was to see the office half-empty, with boxes full of books littering every available surface.</p><p>“Mr. Langan,” Rafael said, eyebrows raised in surprise.</p><p>“They fired you?” Trevor blurted out before thinking, eyes wide as he took in the unfamiliar sight.</p><p>“Can’t have a baby killer working at the DA’s office,” Rafael quipped with a tired smile, sliding another book into a box.</p><p>“You’re not–”</p><p>“I quit,” Rafael cut him off, coming around the stacks of boxes to stand in front of Trevor. “It was time.”</p><p>Trevor gave a small nod of his head. He wanted to argue, to tell him he couldn’t leave, but the decision was made, and he doubted Rafael had made the decision lightly, even if his hand had been forced somewhat.</p><p>“Court won’t be the same without you,” he said with a small smile.</p><p>Rafael studied him for a moment before a half-hearted smirk twisted his lips. “I never knew you cared.”</p><p>“Have dinner with me?” It had been what he’d come here to ask, but he hadn’t meant to ask it at that exact moment. However, the words were out, and Rafael was staring at him like there was something seriously wrong with him. Maybe there was. “Please?”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>Trevor took a deep breath, studying his shoes as he searched for the right words. “Because I like you. My timing may be off, but it’s what I came here to ask. Before I knew you’d quit.”</p><p>Slowly, he raised his eyes, meeting Rafael’s stunned gaze.</p><p>“You want to go to dinner with me? As in a date?” Rafael asked, voice wavering slightly with uncertainty.</p><p>Trevor nodded. “If that’s okay.”</p><p>“You want to go on a date with the ex ADA that killed a baby?”</p><p>“You were found not guilty, if the rumors are true,” Trevor said with a smile.</p><p>Rafael’s face twisted into something bitter, and he looked away, turning back to his half-full box of legal books. “People still view me as a baby killer. I’m damaged goods now.”</p><p>“I don’t care what anyone else thinks,” Trevor insisted, voice pleading as he reached out to grab hold of Rafael’s wrist. “Have dinner with me, please.”</p><p>He could feel the hesitation radiating of Rafael in waves, but when the ADA looked up, there was only hope in his eyes, a small, albeit sad smile gracing his lips.</p><p>“Okay,” he whispered, taking a small step back towards Trevor, sliding his wrist out of the attorney’s grasp so they were holding hands, instead. “I’d like that.”</p><p>“Great,” Trevor breathed out, sagging a little with relief. “Tonight?”</p><p>Rafael gave a small nod, his smile growing.</p><p>Better late than never.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Holiday post 19x13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter tags: fluff, love confessions, light angst with a happy ending</p><p>http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/172709014637/trevor-taking-rafael-on-a-holiday-after-he-quits</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“The whole point of a holiday is to sleep in,” Rafael muttered as he made his way out onto the balcony, squinting against the sunlight bouncing off the water.</p><p>“It’s the middle of the day,” Trevor said with a fond smile, reaching behind him to take Rafael’s hand in his own.</p><p>“Exactly. And I just woke up. You, on the other hand, have been up for at least four hours.” He took his seat beside Trevor at the small table, dumping a mug of coffee in front of his partner while cradling his own to his chest.</p><p>Warmth spread throughout Trevor’s chest as he reached out to take the coffee mug. He knew it was such a small gesture, but from Rafael upon just waking up, it might as well have been proposing on top of a mountain with a full orchestra. “That’s a sleep in for me.”</p><p>“Not the same,” Rafael muttered, but he was smiling to himself as he looked out over the water.</p><p>Trevor couldn’t help himself. He reached out, playing with the hairs sticking up at odd angles on Rafael’s head before patting them back into place</p><p>“I love you,” he said quietly, reaching out to take Rafael’s hand in his own.</p><p>He watched, heart pounding against his ribs, as Rafael looked down at their hands, staring for what felt like an eternity. He didn’t think the declaration should come as a surprise, and he was almost certain his partner felt the same, but the longer Rafael remained silent, the more his chest ached.</p><p>“I love you too,” Rafael whispered eventually, his voice hoarse. When he looked up, his eyes were shining with unshed tears.</p><p>“The added agony of waiting for that really didn’t make it worthwhile,” Trevor teased, a little breathless with relief as he leaned forward to cup Rafael’s cheek.</p><p>“I wasn’t expecting…I didn’t think…”</p><p>He thought he should feel a sense of pride in rendering Rafael Barba speechless. Instead, he felt his stomach twist with something he couldn’t quite name.</p><p>“How could you not know?” Trevor moved from his seat, dropping to his knees in front of Rafael as the other man closed his eyes against the tears that were threatening to fall. “Rafael, you’re everything I ever wanted, and more. Of course I love you. How could you doubt that?”</p><p>“It’s not you I doubt,” he laughed wetly, covering Trevor’s hand with his own. “I felt sure this was a goodbye holiday.”</p><p>Trevor felt his stomach drop, and he turned his hand to grip Rafael’s tightly. “Rafael, look at me.”</p><p>Rafael took a deep breath, releasing it slowly before opening his eyes, now red-rimmed and still shining.</p><p>“Why would you think that?”</p><p>Rafael laughed bitterly, dropping his head to look down at their hands that were now resting in his lap. “It doesn’t matter.”</p><p>“It does,” Trevor whispered, running his thumb across the back of Rafael’s hand. “Why would you think that?”</p><p>They stayed silent for a while, Rafael’s breathing a little uneven while Trevor continued to stroke the back of his hand, waiting patiently.</p><p>“I’ve lost my career, my reputation, and my purpose. I’m directionless now. I don’t know what’s next. It would make sense for you to not want to be a part of that,” he said eventually, voice wavering just a little.</p><p>Trevor watched Rafael’s jaw twitch and his Adam’s apple bob repeatedly with the effort it was taking to hold it together, and he felt suddenly helpless.</p><p>“I love you because of who you are, not what you do with your life, Rafael,” he said quietly, voice measured as he felt a lump forming in his throat. “This holiday was about that. About just being us. No work, no city, no comments from people who know us. Just you and me.”</p><p>“It’s rather obvious when you put it like that,” Rafael said with a small laugh, reaching out to cup Trevor’s jaw with his spare hand.</p><p>“Should have been obvious from the start,” he said quietly, turning his head to press a kiss to Rafael’s palm. “I’m never going to leave you. I’m in this for the long haul, if you’ll have me.”</p><p>Rafael nodded, hand running around the back of Trevor’s head, through his hair as he leaned forward, pressing a firm kiss to his lips. “I’d be mad to say no.”</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. “I deserve an explanation!”</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter notes: hurt/comfort, light angst, mentions of injuries</p><p>http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/172712044377/bangan-i-deserve-an-explanation</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Trevor felt like he’d been waiting forever to get his hands on his lover’s body. He pushed Rafael back onto the bed lightly, ready to remove his shirt, when he heard Rafael’s sharp intake of breath. He glanced up, fingers still on his top button, searching for an explanation.</p><p>“I’m getting old,” Rafael said with a laugh, removing his belt.</p><p>“I’m older than you,” Trevor pointed out, making quick work of his buttons before leaning down to capture Rafael’s lips with his own.</p><p>“I’m convinced you’re immortal,” Rafael mumbled against his lips, pushing his shirt down over his shoulders before reaching for his belt.</p><p>“Like a vampire?” Trevor teased, nipping at Rafael’s neck.</p><p>“If you turn this into a young adult novel, I’m leaving,” Rafael warned as he pushed Trevor’s pants down, grabbing his ass tightly, arching up for some kind of contact.</p><p>“I highly doubt that,” he whispered, taking Rafael’s earlobe between his teeth as he ground down against Rafael’s cock, their underwear the only barrier now.</p><p>Rafael moaned softly, tugging at the waistband of Trevor’s briefs, arching his body upward, before his hips snapped back to the bed, another hiss escaping his lips, this one more pained.</p><p>“Are you okay?” He asked, frowning as he rested back on his knees.</p><p>“I’m fine,” Rafael ground out, squeezing his eyes shut.</p><p>“That was convincing,” he deadpanned, reaching for the buttons of Rafael’s shirt.</p><p>Rafael batted his hands away, pushing himself up onto his elbows, reaching up for a kiss, but he stopped halfway, wincing in pain, though he tried to hide it. Before he could recover, Trevor pushed Rafael’s shirt up, blanching at the sight of the varying hues of green, blue and brown that littered his lover’s stomach and ribs.</p><p>“What happened?” He breathed out, fingers ghosting above bruised skin, too scared to touch.</p><p>“Nothing worth talking about,” Rafael muttered, closing his eyes as he lay back on the bed in defeat.</p><p>Trevor swallowed the lump in his throat as he unbuttoned Rafael’s shirt, revealing the full extent of his bruising. “You need to go to the hospital.”</p><p>“I’ve been.”</p><p>“Why didn’t you tell me,” he whispered, eyes stinging.</p><p>“I didn’t want to bother you,” Rafael said quietly, opening his eyes again.</p><p>“What happened?” He repeated more forcefully.</p><p>“Trevor, it’s not–”</p><p>“I deserve an explanation!” He shouted, blinking in surprise at his own outburst. “I deserve an explanation,” he repeated more quietly, running a finger down Rafael’s arm.</p><p>“A few years ago I sent this guy away for raping and murdering his wife. New evidence came up recently that suggested he didn’t do it, and the case has been re-opened,” Rafael explained quietly, playing with the waistband of Trevor’s underwear again, this time just for something else to focus on. “His brother decided to take it out on me.”</p><p>“What’s his name?”</p><p>“Trevor–”</p><p>“Give. Me. His. Name,” he ground out, gripping Rafael’s chin to force eye contact.</p><p>“No,” Rafael said firmly, bringing a hand up to cover Trevors gently. “I don’t want you getting involved. He had every right to–”</p><p>“He had absolutely no right to do this to you. Every right to be angry, yes, but no right to take it out on you.”</p><p>Trevor could hear his blood pounding in his ears, feel the unsteady rise and fall of his own chest, and he realized he was shaking as Rafael linked their fingers.</p><p>“I’m okay,” he whispered, reaching up with his spare hand to brush his knuckles across Trevor’s cheek.</p><p>Trevor closed his eyes, leaning into Rafael’s touch just a little as he let out a shaky breath. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m not angry with you.”</p><p>“I know,” Rafael said gently, guiding Trevor so they were laying beside each other, still holding hands.</p><p>Trevor pressed a kiss to Rafael’s shoulder before burying his face in Rafael’s neck, breathing him in.</p><p>“I love you,” he whispered, gripping Rafael’s hand a little tighter.</p><p>“I know,” Rafael said again, running his fingers up and down Trevor’s arm lightly. “I love you too.”</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. "Do you trust me?"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter tags: light smut</p><p>http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/172713787277/bangan-do-you-trust-me</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Trevor froze for a moment, feeling a body pressed up behind him, before the familiar scent of Rafael’s cologne reached his nose, mingling with the scotch on his breath.</p><p>“What are you doing here?” He asked quietly, turning to look at Rafael, eyes heavy with alcohol, a lazy smile on his lips.</p><p>“I miss you,” he said quietly, leaning in for a sloppy kiss, which Trevor accepted with a laugh.</p><p>“I miss you too,” Trevor said softly, pressing another kiss to Rafael’s forehead.</p><p>They saw far more of each other since Rafael had left the DA’s office, but Trevor also suspected Rafael felt his loneliness more acutely than ever without a job to distract him. He’d considered asking Rafael to move in with him countless times, but it felt like too much too soon, and it wouldn’t stop the fact that Trevor was always at work, and Rafael was bored.</p><p>“Come home with me?” Rafael asked, tugging at Trevor’s arm.</p><p>Trevor sighed softly, turning to look at the papers he’d been going through, before giving Rafael a small nod. He doubted they’d be up to much, considering how drunk his partner seemed, so he figured he could get some work done once Rafael had fallen asleep.</p><p>Once they were out on the street, Rafael backed him into an alley, his back hitting the icy cold bricks with a slight thud, a rush of air escaping his lungs. Rafael leaned in close, reaching up on tiptoes while he dragged Trevor down to his height, pressing his lips against Trevor’s ear.</p><p>“Do you trust me?” He whispered, grabbing Trevor’s earlobe between his teeth as he slipped his thigh between Trevor’s legs.</p><p>“Not particularly,” Trevor said quietly, breath hitching a little at the unexpected friction. “You’re drunk.”</p><p>“Please,” Rafael scoffed, mouthing at his neck. “Even when I’m drunk I’m more in control than most people sober.”</p><p>“You keep telling yourself that,” Trevor said with a small laugh, which turned to a moan as Rafael ground against his steadily hardening cock.</p><p>He dropped his briefcase, opting to grab Rafael’s thighs to lift him up, relishing in the way Rafael’s legs wound around his body so easily. Rafael’s breathy moans went straight to his cock as he held Rafael close, breath hot on his neck.</p><p>“We should go home,” he whispered against his lover’s ear.</p><p>Rafael leaned back just far enough to press their lips together in a heated kiss before he nodded.</p><p>Once they were home, Trevor wasted no time in shedding his clothing and climbing on top of Rafael, peppering him with breathy, needy kisses.</p><p>“Is this okay?” He whispered, reaching down between them.</p><p>When Rafael didn’t respond, he paused, pushing himself up a little to get a better look at his lover’s face. A frustrated groan slipped past his lips as he realized Rafael had fallen asleep, face relaxed and peaceful.</p><p>“You gotta stop drinking so much, Rafael,” he muttered, rolling over to lay beside Rafael.</p><p>Once Trevor had cooled down enough, he rolled onto his side, pulling Rafael close to him, breathing in his scent.</p><p>“I love you,” he whispered into Rafael’s hair, hoping that somehow, in his sleep, he would take the information in.</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. “I’ve waited for this moment for a long time.”</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter tags: fluff, first date (sort of)</p><p>http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/173347674437/bangan-ive-waited-for-this-moment-for-a-long</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Weddings were definitely not one of Rafael’s favorite things. He always attended out of a sense of obligation more than anything else, and the flow of free alcohol tended to keep him at the bar most of the night. Tonight was no exception. He’d lost count of how many drinks he’d had while he watched various couples dance and laugh and generally have a good time without him.</p><p>He’d watched Trevor Langan, too. Far more than he cared to admit.</p><p>They always found themselves in the same circles, always found themselves at the same events, and every time, without fail, Rafael’s eyes would find Trevor in a crowd and latch on, desperate for the courage to say something to him unprompted.</p><p>It wasn’t that they didn’t speak. They spoke a lot. Always about work, life, ambitions – all the usual talk, but with none of the usual showboating. That’s what Rafael liked most about Trevor. He didn’t seem to be filled with the same need to show off, to flash his money around, to one-up whatever story someone was telling him. He didn’t feel a need to sass and flaunt and argue for the sake of it. He asked genuine questions, and listened, and shared genuine stories, and gave whoever he was speaking to his full attention.</p><p>Sometime during his musings, probably as he turned to get another drink, he lost sight of Trevor and his heart sank, just a little.</p><p>“Some things never change,” came an amused voice a little too close to Rafael’s ear.</p><p>He shivered a little, turning to the source, though he didn’t need to see him to know who it was – Trevor Langan.</p><p>“I should hope not,” Rafael responded, taking a sip of his drink as he gestured to the empty stool beside him.</p><p>Trevor hummed, something bordering on a laugh, as his lips quirked up in a smile, gray eyes sparkling in the light. “I was rather hoping I could convince you to enjoy yourself tonight.”</p><p>Rafael scoffed, returning his eyes to his drink. “What gives you the impression I’m not enjoying myself?”</p><p>Trevor tilted his head a little, catching Rafael’s eyes again, his expression softer, more uncertain. Rafael felt his stomach swoop, and he internally chastised himself for being so affected.</p><p>“Dance with me?” Trevor asked, voice soft and unsure, as though he were certain of rejection.</p><p>Rafael couldn’t blame him, not with the way he actively avoided dancing, but the thought that anyone could reject Trevor seemed absurd to him.</p><p>He nodded, not trusting himself to speak, and allowed Trevor to take his hand and guide him to the dance floor.</p><p>Rafael wasn’t paying attention to the music, all he was aware of in that moment was Trevor’s hand on his back, pulling him close, and the sound of his own heartbeat echoing in his ears.</p><p>They danced for a while, and Rafael didn’t dare make direct eye contact, didn’t dare begin to imagine what this could mean. He was so sure Trevor only ever spoke to him to be polite, only ever asked him questions to make sure he felt included. But now, with Trevor’s hands resting on his hips, thumb brushing against his side through the material of his shirt, he wondered if he’d wasted all this time being blinded by fear.</p><p>When the song ended, Trevor cupped Rafael’s chin, lifting his head so they could look at each other properly. Everything around them sounded muted and far away. All that mattered was the soft, tender look in Trevor’s eyes.</p><p><b>“I’ve waited for this moment for a long time,”</b> Trevor confessed, lowering his gaze for a moment as his cheeks tinged pink.</p><p>“Exactly how drunk are you?” Rafael asked, lips quirked into his signature smirk.</p><p>Trevor shook his head, staring at Rafael, expression suddenly serious. “Enough to get the words out, but I mean it. Every wedding, every function, every party, I’ve wanted to have the courage to ask you to dance.”</p><p>It was Rafael’s turn to blush as he ducked his head, taking a small step back from Trevor to gather his thoughts.</p><p>“I’m sorry. That was too forward. I shouldn’t–”</p><p>Rafael cut him off by reaching up and pulling Trevor’s head towards his, crushing their lips together in what may have been the most awkward kiss he’d ever experienced.</p><p>“You’re too damn tall for your own good, you know that?” Rafael huffed, brushing his thumb across Trevor’s cheekbone.</p><p>Trevor laughed, his breath ghosting across Rafael’s face as he relaxed, adjusting the angle before he brushed his lips over Rafael’s again. “A little warning wouldn’t go astray next time.”</p><p>Rafael pressed their foreheads together for a moment, closing his eyes before he captured Trevor’s lips with his own once more, this time far softer and less rushed than the first time.</p><p>Weddings were definitely not one of Rafael’s favorite things, but if this kept up, they very well could be.</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Something Happy and Fluffy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter tags: fluff</p><p>http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/173759952722/happy-and-fluffy-bangan-please</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I am not in any way athletic,” Rafael hissed as Trevor pulled up outside the tennis courts.</p><p>“You don’t have to be. It’s just for fun,” Trevor insisted.</p><p>Rafael rolled his eyes before getting out of the car. He felt ridiculous in the small white shorts and shirt Trevor had bought him. Trevor managed to look beautiful as ever in his own tennis gear, but Rafael just looked short and frumpy, especially in comparison.</p><p>“Come on,” Trevor said gently, placing a hand on his back. “Just once, and if you hate it we never have to come back.”</p><p>“I hate you,” Rafael mumbled, but allowed himself to be guided into the complex and through to the courts.</p><p>Rafael felt his mind wander as Trevor explained the rules. He couldn’t help it. Trevors shorts were so tight, and his skin was so tanned, and Rafael was honestly sure this was the first time he’d seen his legs outside of the context of the bedroom.</p><p>“Got that?” Trevor asked, tilting his head a little to catch Rafael’s eyes.</p><p>He made a non-committal sound, watching as Trevor moved around the net to his side of the court. When the ball came his way, he honestly made an effort to hit it, but the racquet felt too large in his hand, and the hit was more than clumsy.</p><p>To his credit, Trevor didn’t really laugh, but the scowl Rafael threw his way had probably been what silenced him.</p><p>After a few more honestly disastrous attempts, Trevor came towards Rafael. “Here, let me show you.”</p><p>As Trevor moved behind him, hand running along his arm until he was holding the racquet in both of their hands, Rafael felt his breath catch in his throat. He glanced around at the other courts, but no one seemed to be paying them any attention.</p><p>“You want to hold it like this,” he said gently, mouth close to Rafael’s ear. “Not so tight that you’re rigid, but firm enough to actually get the ball to go in the direction you want it to go.”</p><p>Rafael nodded, skin tingling as Trevor’s other hand ran down his side, holding his hip.</p><p>“Stand like this,” Trevor continued, placing his food just inside of Rafael’s, nudging his leg. “This gives you the freedom to move around a lot more, instead of trying to anticipate exactly where the ball is going to go.”</p><p>Trevor gripped his hip a little tighter, and Rafael couldn’t resist. He pushed himself back against Trevor’s crotch, twisting his hips just a little for friction, still nodding as though he was listening intently to what Trevor was saying.</p><p>He heard Trevor’s voice waver, the words catching in his throat for a second before he continued, voice a little deeper than before.</p><p>“…And then you–”</p><p>Rafael cut him off, turning around to kiss him hungrily on the lips. Trevor’s lips parted for him, and he wasted no time, deepening the kiss as he grabbed hold of the taller man, threading his fingers through his hair.</p><p>“How about we continue this at home,” Rafael panted as they broke apart.</p><p>Trevor nodded, pressing a quick kiss to Rafael’s lips before taking his hand and quickly leading him back to the car.</p><p>Rafael couldn’t help but laugh once they were in the car. Trevor’s cheeks were flushed and his hair was ruffled, and his shorts left absolutely nothing to the imagination. He reached across the console, cupping Trevor roughly through his shorts.</p><p>“Was this your plan all along?” Trevor asked, voice a little husky.</p><p>“No.” Rafael laughed, leaning over to kiss his boyfriend. “But I know I’d much prefer this.”</p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. “After everything we’ve been through, you still don’t think that I love you?”</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter tags: shooting, angst with a happy ending, emotional hurt/comfort</p><p>http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/173761315937/bangan-after-everything-weve-been-through-you</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rafael was sure the bullet was meant for him. Absolutely sure of it. But it was Trevor who had to fight for his life, Trevor who was laying in a hospital bed, Trevor who was in pain. All over a bullet intended for him.</p><p>When the nurse came out to tell them the worst was over, that Trevor would be okay, Rafael felt numb. He thought he should feel relieved as Trevor’s mother hugged him, her smile big and bright despite her tears, but all he felt was guilt, solid and heavy in his chest.</p><p>“Rafael?” He glanced up at Mrs. Langan’s concerned face, blinking slowly. “Are you okay?”</p><p>“Of course,” he breathed out. He had intended to go home, had intended to give their family space. He honestly didn’t know how long he’d been sat there. It felt like only seconds had passed, but it also felt like a lifetime.</p><p>“He asked to see you,” she said with a gentle smile, patting his arm.</p><p>His heart fluttered, a sense of panic filling him up. He wasn’t sure he could face Trevor, not after what happened. But Mrs. Langan had taken him by the arm and he didn’t seem to be able to resist.</p><p>When the door closed behind him he glanced up at Trevor’s smiling face before forcing his feet forward, one foot after the other, until he was stood beside the hospital bed.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” he whispered.</p><p>Trevor reached out, taking his hand to give it a small squeeze. “It’s not your fault.”</p><p>“That bullet was meant for me.” He still couldn’t look at Trevor, just stared at their hands.</p><p>“Maybe,” Trevor conceded. “But that doesn’t make it your fault.”</p><p>Rafael’s stomach churned. He felt cold all over, and his brain couldn’t seem to hold onto a single thought for very long. But the guilt was ever-present, weighing him down. He just wanted to sleep. To get this over and done with and curl up in a ball, away from the world.</p><p>“Look at me,” Trevor said gently, tugging at Rafael’s hand.</p><p>Slowly, he lifted his gaze to meet Trevor’s. “You don’t have to do this. I can go.”</p><p>Trevor’s smile dropped, the lines in his forehead growing more pronounced as he frowned. “I don’t want you to go.”</p><p>“Why on earth would you want me to stay?” Rafael asked, offering a weak smile.</p><p>“Because I love you.”</p><p>He’d heard the words so many times before, always said with such sincerity, but it never failed to surprise him. He felt his heart stutter, his breath catching in his throat.</p><p>“Even though I almost had you killed?” He asked, voice a little higher in pitch than he would like.</p><p>“Rafael,” Trevor started, voice serious. “After everything we’ve been through, you still don’t think that I love you?”</p><p>Something inside him snapped, then, like a dam breaking or a floodgate opening. It was as though he felt every emotion all at once rushing through him, coursing through his veins. He opened his mouth to speak, but instead he sobbed, embarrassingly loud as he dropped Trevor’s hand in favor of covering his face.</p><p>“Hey,” Trevor said softly, gasping at the stretch when he reached out to take Rafael’s hands away from his face. “If I’m going to hug you, you need to come down to my level a bit more.”</p><p>Rafael gasped out, somewhere between a laugh and a sob, allowing Trevor to pull him closer. He sat on the edge of the bed, curling up beside Trevor once he’d moved aside.</p><p>“I love you, Rafael Barba,” Trevor murmured into his hair, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “Nothing could ever happen to change that.”</p><p>Rafael shook his head, pressing his face into Trevor’s shoulder, body shuddering as he cried.</p><p>He hadn’t cried when Trevor had been shot, or when his eyes drifted shut. He hadn’t cried when the ambulance rushed him away. He hadn’t cried in the hospital waiting room with Trevor’s family all sobbing around them. He’d just felt guilt, hard and heavy, and nothing more. It was like time had slowed down and sped up all at once. He couldn’t recall a single thought throughout the entire fourteen hours from the gunshot until now.</p><p>Now, it was all there. All the fear, the anger, the panic, the deep sadness, the feeling that he’d lost the love of his life. All of that was there, fresh and new and raw, and it hurt. It hurt so much.</p><p>“I’ve got you,” Trevor whispered into his hair, holding him close.</p><p>For the first time, just maybe, he actually believed Trevor wouldn’t leave him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. “I’m not a lot of people’s favourite person.”</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter tags: light angst with a happy ending</p><p>http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/173793785702/bangan-im-not-a-lot-of-peoples-favourite</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It didn’t matter how many times Rafael went over the way this dinner could go down, he was still nervous. He changed his outfit ten times, as though his physical appearance could change anything. He even went so far as to put on his lucky socks, even though he didn’t believe in luck. But Trevor had named them as such, so maybe they would bring luck with Trevor if nothing else.<b><br/></b></p><p>His stomach churned as his taxi wound through the streets of Manhattan towards the restaurant he was meeting Trevor at.</p><p>As he paid the driver he could see Trevor through the window, sitting at the table. Their table. The table they had their first official date at. He wondered if Trevor remembered the significance, or simply chose it because it wasn’t fancy, was out of the way, was somewhere Trevor probably wouldn’t have found himself without Rafael.</p><p>He swallowed hard as he made his way to the table. Trevor looked nervous. Rafael’s heart clenched.</p><p>“Hey,” he breathed out, removing his coat before taking a seat.</p><p>Trevor smiled, but his smile looked forced, and his body looked tense. “Hey. I ordered wine. I hope you don’t mind that I chose?”</p><p>Rafael shook his head, offering a tentative smile.</p><p>They didn’t talk much. The longer the silence between them stretched, the more Rafael’s stomach twisted.</p><p>“You okay?” Trevor asked quietly.</p><p>“Yeah.” Rafael’s head snapped up to look at Trevor. “Why?”</p><p>“You’re playing with your food.” Trevor nodded towards his plate. “You only ever do that when your mind is miles away.”</p><p>“Sorry,” Rafael sighed, dropping his fork to his plate.</p><p>Trevor shook his head. “It’s okay, I just…I have something I need to discuss with you. But it can wait.”</p><p>Rafael took a deep, unsteady breath in before releasing it slowly. This was it. Trevor was breaking up with him. He could see it in the way he fiddled with his wine glass, the way he suddenly refused to meet Rafael’s eyes. Everything screamed hesitation, reluctance, nerves, because that’s who Trevor was. He would never in a million years dream of hurting someone else’s feelings, even if it wasn’t his fault. That’s half the reason Rafael loved him so much.</p><p>“Listen, I–”</p><p>“I know,” Rafael cut in, reaching across the table to take Trevor’s hand. “<b>I’m not a lot of people’s favorite person.</b> I was surprised I ever caught your eye. But I can’t…please, don’t give up on us just yet.”</p><p>“What?” Trevor asked, eyes going wide as he squeezed Rafael’s hand. “I’m not…why would you think that?”</p><p>Rafael gestured around the restaurant with his free hand. “Dinner, nice wine, your obvious hesitation. I’ve felt it coming for a while.”</p><p>Trevor shook his head. “No. God, no, I’m not breaking up with you.”</p><p>He was grinning now, and relief flooded Rafael before he could even register the feeling. “You’re not?”</p><p>“No,” Trevor said with a small laugh, reaching into his pocket to pull out a key. “I was going to ask you to move in with me.”</p><p>Rafael blinked in surprise, reaching out to take the key from Trevor. He turned it over in his hand, smiling when the fresh cut caught in the light.</p><p>“So, will you?”</p><p>“Of course,” Rafael breathed out, giving Trevor’s hand another squeeze before leaning across the table to kiss him lightly. “God, of course I will.”</p>
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<a name="section0017"><h2>17. “I never thought I’d love you this much.”</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter tags: married fluff</p><p>http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/174582643192/bangan-i-never-thought-id-love-you-this-much</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Looking back, it felt like a long life, a long journey, to get him here. As early as four years old Rafael had vowed he would never settle down, never fall in love, because he had seen what love could do to people. He had been told repeatedly that his parents loved each other. His mother always reminded him of that fact, body painted with fresh bruises, the slam of the front door still echoing in his ears.<b><br/></b></p><p>He’d watched on helplessly while his best friend in college was shoved around by his girlfriend, went along for the ride to the hospital when he’d cracked his head open on the stairs she had pushed him down.</p><p>He’d watched countless victims come through the DA’s office, hurt by the people they loved, by the people who claimed to love them.</p><p>It didn’t matter how many relationships he saw truly flourish, how many happy weddings he went to. He knew what love could do to people, and he hadn’t wanted it for himself.</p><p>But then Trevor Langan came into his life. Trevor was soft, gentle, full of shy smiles and flirty banter, and before long what was supposed to be just sex and companionship was tugging at his heart, begging for more.</p><p>But still, he hadn’t expected this. He hadn’t expected to be standing at the altar in front of Trevor Langan, having just said his vows. He hadn’t expected a man as beautiful, as wonderful as Trevor to be smiling at him like that as he leaned in to kiss him, still somehow looking shy after all this time.</p><p>More than that, he hadn’t expected to feel like this, to feel his heart soar, to ache to be closer. He hadn’t expected the warmth that could come with a love that was true, and real, and pure.</p><p>He hadn’t realized he was crying until they broke their kiss and Trevor cupped his face, brushing a stray tear from his cheek. He laughed, ducking his head as he sniffled.</p><p>“Are you okay?” Trevor whispered, pulling Rafael close to him.</p><p>Rafael stayed in his embrace for what felt like an age, only distantly aware of the cheering that had erupted around them.</p><p>As he pulled back to look at Trevor, he was almost overwhelmed by the level of love and affection he saw in his partners – his husbands – eyes. He swallowed, reaching up to brush his knuckles across Trevor’s cheek before patting down his tie, never once losing eye contact.</p><p><strong>“I never thought I’d love you this much,”</strong> he admitted in a whisper.</p>
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<a name="section0018"><h2>18. “If I could, I would kiss away all of your scars.”</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter tags: light angst, emotional hurt/comfort, mentions of wounds/scars</p><p>http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/175367476067/15-if-i-could-i-would-kiss-away-all-of-your</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Trevor felt his stomach flip as Rafael’s hands ghosted the hem of his shirt. He knew he could say no, could stop this now and Rafael wouldn’t resist, wouldn’t question why, wouldn’t make him feel less-than. But they’d been seeing each other for months now, going to the theatre, eating in fancy restaurants, holding hands in Central Park, stealing chaste kisses at every possible moment, and then, last weekend, they made out on Rafael’s lounge.</p><p>He’d been nervous then, but Rafael had seemed content to just kiss and nothing more.</p><p>But this was different. Already, Rafael’s hand had snuck its way up his shirt, and he could feel cool fingers gripping his hip, digging into the flesh a little, and he couldn’t seem to focus on anything else.</p><p>“Is this okay?” Rafael asked, pulling back a little to take in Trevor’s face.</p><p>He sucked in a deep breath, letting it go slowly as he nodded, but that didn’t seem enough for Rafael.</p><p>He rubbed his thumb gently over Trevor’s hip, expression soft. “You know we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, right? We can take it slow.”</p><p>“We have been taking it slow,” Trevor muttered, hanging his head.</p><p>“And we can continue taking it slow for as long as you want,” Rafael whispered, reaching up to cup Trevor’s face in his hands. “As long as you need.”</p><p>Trevor smiled slightly and shook his head. “I want you. I do. I just…” He let out a frustrated sigh, his stomach swooping once more.</p><p>“It’s okay.” Rafael pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of Trevor’s mouth.</p><p>Trevor shook his head again, pulling Rafael close. With his face pressed into Rafael’s hair, not under any kind of scrutiny, he felt he could breathe.</p><p>“I can’t stand the thought of the way you will look at me,” he confessed, voice muffled by hair.</p><p>“What do you mean?” Rafael tried to move back, to look at him, but Trevor wouldn’t let him.</p><p>“You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen,” Trevor pressed on, feeling his throat grow tight, “and I’m…not.”</p><p>Rafael scoffed, running his hand up Trevor’s back. “You’re the catch in this relationship.”</p><p>Trevor sighed, before tilting Rafael’s head to capture his lips, hungry and desperate, anything to ignore the emotion swelling inside of him. When they broke apart, Rafael’s eyes were dark, lips plump and red, and Trevor hated putting this distance between them.</p><p>He knew if he didn’t just bite the bullet and make the decision now, he would never find the courage. He would always unconsciously stop things between them, and eventually, Rafael would resent him. So he sucked in a deep breath and took a step back from Rafael.</p><p>Slowly, he began undoing his shirt, keeping his eyes fixed on his own fingers. He slid the shirt off his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. “Please don’t react,” he whispered before tugging his undershirt over his head.</p><p>He kept his gaze down, fiddling with the fabric of the t-shirt he still had in his hand, watching the way the fabric bunched between his fingers. Anything to avoid looking at Rafael.</p><p>“Can I touch you?” Rafael’s voice sounded tight, thick with emotion that tugged at Trevor’s heart.</p><p>He couldn’t speak past the lump in his throat, couldn’t bear to look Rafael in the eye, so he just nodded, eyes fixed on his own shirt as he mechanically ran the fabric between his thumb and forefinger.</p><p>Rafael’s fingers ghosted across his chest, down to his stomach, causing his skin to erupt in goosebumps. What he wasn’t expecting was the gentle kiss Rafael pressed to the side of his rib.</p><p>He knew the spot well. It was the worst of his scars, still puffy and angry and red-looking despite the many years that had passed since it had been inflicted. He felt his jaw twitch with the effort to keep his emotion in check, his throat impossibly tight, eyes stinging with tears he would never let fall.</p><p>Rafael pressed another kiss to his skin, this time to the left of his belly button, and he felt himself tremble at the touch. His legs felt like jelly as he let Rafael touch and kiss the worst of his scars in turn. It wasn’t until Rafael tilted his head, forcing eye contact, that Trevor realized he’d been holding his breath. His head spun and his chest burned as he gasped for air.</p><p>“You’re beautiful,” Rafael whispered, thumb brushing Trevor’s cheekbone.</p><p>He felt himself shake his head, but he was barely aware of the action as he sucked in another sharp breath of air, desperate to ease the aching in his chest, the burning in his lungs, the spinning in his head.</p><p>He allowed Rafael to lead him to the lounge, allowed Rafael to sit him down, accepted the glass of water he was handed and didn’t flinch when Rafael sat beside him, pressed close.</p><p>After what felt like an age of silence, once Trevor felt like he could finally breathe again, Rafael cupped his face, running his thumb along his jaw.</p><p>“If I could, I would kiss away all of your scars,” Rafael said softly, voice so full of sincerity Trevor felt it in his own heart.</p><p>He didn’t have the words, couldn’t speak even if he tried, so instead, he turned and buried his face in Rafael’s neck, breathing in deep, holding on tight.</p><p>Rafael accepted him. Rafael wasn’t horrified by him. Rafael wasn’t asking what happened, demanding an explanation, staring at him in horror.</p><p>Trevor felt like the luckiest man alive.</p>
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<a name="section0019"><h2>19. “We live together. You can’t blame this on anyone else.”</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter tags: humour, domestic fluff</p><p>http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/175400842397/34-we-live-together-you-cant-blame-this-on</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rafael heard the crash of the door falling off the bathroom cabinet, heard the mirror shatter on the tile, and felt a swoop of guilt in the pit of his stomach.</p><p>Still, he didn’t move, remained on the lounge, book propped at the perfect angle, and called out, “You okay?”</p><p>He got no response, but he heard Trevor walking through the apartment, footsteps growing louder, coming closer, until he stopped behind the lounge.</p><p>“You could have warned me the cabinet was broken,” Trevor said softly, leaning on the back of the lounge.</p><p>“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” Rafael responded quietly, turning the page delicately despite the fact that he’d taken none of the previous page in.</p><p>To his surprise, Trevor laughed, low and breathy by his ear before pressing a kiss to the side of his head. “We live together. You can’t blame this on anyone else.”</p><p>“Sounds like you’re the one who broke it to me,” Rafael said, voice stubborn, though a traitorous smirk was tugging at his lips.</p><p>“Mmm,” Trevor hummed. “Then how do you explain the two screws sitting on the sink?”</p><p>Rafael rolled his eyes, turning to look at Trevor. “Surprised you didn’t notice that before you opened the cabinet, Sherlock.”</p><p>Trevor rolled his eyes in return before pressing another soft kiss to Rafael’s forehead. “Next time, a little heads up will be nice. You’re allowed to break things.”</p><p>Rafael huffed, turning back to his book. “I don’t break things.”</p><p>He couldn’t stop the fond smile spreading across his face as Trevor laughed, muttering something he couldn’t quite hear as he left the room.</p>
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<a name="section0020"><h2>20. "Don’t you think you’re a little too old to be using cheesy pick up lines?"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter tags: fluff</p><p>http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/177409439117/114-dont-you-think-youre-a-little-too-old-to</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rafael felt himself smile as Trevor dipped into his line of sight, hanging his coat over the back of the bar stool beside him.<b><br/></b></p><p>“They say Disneyland is the happiest place on Earth,” Trevor said with a grin, and Rafael quirked an eyebrow. “Well apparently, no one has ever stood next to you.”</p><p>Rafael rolled his eyes before taking a sip from his drink, pretending to ignore the way Trevor laughed as he took his seat.</p><p>“Don’t you think you’re a little too old to be using cheesy pickup lines?” Rafael watched out of the corner of his eye for Trevor’s response.</p><p>There was a pause before Trevor stood up again. “I take it back.”</p><p>“Trevor–“</p><p>“No, no, I’ll get out of your hair.”</p><p>Rafael turned to look at Trevor properly, reaching out to grab hold of his wrist. It was then he noticed the glint in Trevor’s eye, the only break in his otherwise hurt facade.</p><p>“Stay,” he said quietly.</p><p>“You sure you wanna be seen with an old man like me?” Trevor’s grin had returned, and Rafael matched it.</p><p>“You’ll do just fine.”</p>
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<a name="section0021"><h2>21. “I’ll wait.”</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter notes: angst, mentions of death</p><p>http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/178032133172/ill-wait-bangan</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Trevor took a deep, steadying breath as he pulled up a block from the church. He figured he ought to feel something greater than dread at the thought of his father’s death, but either the reality hadn’t quite hit him yet, or he just didn’t have it in him to grieve for a man who’d never really understood him.</p><p>“You don’t have to—“</p><p>“I’ll wait,” Rafael assured, giving his hand a small squeeze.</p><p>Trevor watched him for a moment, watched the way his lips quirked up in a reassuring smile, eyes wide and soft and a little sad, and he felt a pang in his chest, his throat growing tight.</p><p>“We could just leave,” he suggested, voice a little strangled, but Rafael shook his head.</p><p>“You’ll never forgive yourself if you don’t go.”</p><p>Trevor nodded. He knew that. Still, it didn’t stop how badly he wanted to drive away, how badly he wanted to go somewhere nice and quiet, where it was just the two of them.</p><p>“I wish you could come with me,” he admitted in a whisper, voice shaking just a little as he looked away, out the window and down the street where the church sat, people slowly filing in.</p><p>“I wish I could too,” Rafael whispered back, giving his hand one final squeeze before letting go. “But I’ll be here when it’s over.”</p>
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<a name="section0022"><h2>22. “Do you want me to come too?”</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter tags: angst, mention of unspecified illness</p><p>http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/178231066502/do-you-want-me-to-come-to-bangan</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Trevor’s face went ghostly white as he sat on the phone, fingers in a vice grip.</p><p>“Sure,” he choked out, and Rafael’s stomach twisted at the sound of his voice, so small, so uncertain, so unlike his usual confident, calm self. “That’s fine, thank you.”</p><p>The silence seemed stifling after Trevor hung up, but Rafael didn’t quite know how to fill it. He knew something was wrong, and, not for the first time, he wished there was some kind of handbook to consult on ways of comforting people.</p><p>“They, ah, want me to come in,” Trevor offered, voice thick. “To discuss the results.”</p><p>Realization dawned, and with it came the feeling of being dropped in cold water, heart lodging somewhere in his throat as he reached out for Trevor’s hand.</p><p>“When?” He wasn’t sure why he was whispering, but it seemed fitting, as though anything louder would shatter whatever precipice they were on the edge of, and they would tumble into depths unknown.</p><p>“Tomorrow.”</p><p>Rafael swallowed, shifting closer to Trevor, who was still staring resolutely ahead, not making eye contact. He was scared, Rafael could feel it radiating off of him in waves. Or maybe it was how own fear, projected outward. He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Trevor scared before.</p><p>“Do you want me to come too?”</p><p>Trevor nodded, clenching his jaw as he turned to look at Rafael, wide-eyes and looking decades younger for it.</p><p>“Come here,” he whispered, drawing Trevor in for a hug. “It’ll be okay.”</p>
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<a name="section0023"><h2>23. "just sit down and let me take care of you.”</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter notes: sickfic, fluff, comfort</p><p>http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/178446530042/just-sit-down-and-let-me-take-care-of-you-and</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Trevor was late. That was Rafael’s first sign that something was off. He watched with narrowed eyes as Trevor walked into the courtroom, face unusually waxy, watched him sway as he collected his papers in front of him, clearing his throat.</p><p>The motion hearing was quick, to the point, and for that Rafael was grateful, more grateful than usual. In the five minutes they had been standing there, Trevor had broken out into a sweat, beads dotting his forehead, visible even from where Rafael was standing.</p><p>The moment the gavel went down, Rafael moved towards him, watching as his hands shook, fingers clumsy as he tried to place his papers in his briefcase.</p><p>“You’re sick,” he commented uselessly, catching Trevor’s elbow to lead him out of the courtroom while his client was taken away.</p><p>“I’m fine,” Trevor waved him off before pausing, swallowing hard, and Rafael eyed the trashcan nearby, just in case.</p><p>“Home. Now.”</p><p>He ignored Trevor’s weak protests, guiding him outside and into a cab, firing off a rapid set of texts to Carmen with instructions regarding his calendar and workload for the rest of the day, glancing sideways at Trevor every few seconds, just to make sure.</p><p>Once he was done, he simply watched as Trevor leaned with his head against the window, eyes closed, body trembling just slightly. He reached across, brushing his fingers across Trevor’s cheek, hot to the touch, before letting his hand rest atop Trevor’s on his knee.</p><p>When the car pulled up outside Trevor’s apartment, he made no effort to move, even after Rafael had paid.</p><p>“We’re here,” he said softly, and Trevor grunted in response, not opening his eyes.</p><p>“Gimme a second,” he mumbled, taking a deep breath that he released slowly before blinking his eyes open.</p><p>“You good?” Rafael asked, half out of genuine concern for Trevor, and half because he didn’t quite know what to do if Trevor wasn’t okay. There was no way he could support Trevor’s tall frame against his own.</p><p>“Yeah,” Trevor breathed out, unbuckling the seatbelt. “Yeah.”</p><p>Rafael moved around to Trevor’s side of the car, offering him a hand. He swayed as he stood, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment, taking a few deep breaths, and Rafael felt entirely out of his depth.</p><p>Still, blessedly, Trevor managed to walk himself to the elevator, hold himself upright until they reached the top floor, and make it all the way to his apartment before he needed to lean against the wall, eyes screwed shut once more.</p><p>“We’re almost there,” Rafael soothed, taking the keys from Trevor’s hand to let them in.</p><p>“It’d be easier if the ground stayed still,” Trevor muttered in response, and Rafael smirked.</p><p>“Nice to know your sarcasm never leaves you.”</p><p>Trevor opened his eyes, shooting Rafael a surprisingly smug smile, considering his current state, as he followed Rafael into the apartment. He hovered by the door for a moment, contemplating, before moving with surprising speed towards the bathroom. Rafael cringed as Trevor emptied the contents of his stomach, opting to make tea instead of following.</p><p>After what felt like an eternity of listening to Trevor heave, Rafael’s own stomach churning each time, Trevor finally returned, looking ghostly white and absolutely exhausted.</p><p>“You don’t need to stay,” Trevor said quietly before attempting to clear the rasp from his voice. “I don’t want to make you sick, too.”</p><p>“Ah, and he finally admits he’s sick,” Rafael smirked, picking their mugs up from the bench.</p><p>Trevor rolled his eyes. “I’m serious.”</p><p>Rafael sighed, motioning with his head for Trevor to follow as he made his way to the lounge. “Just sit down and let me take care of you.” Trevor opened his mouth to speak, but Rafael cut him off with a quiet, “Please.”</p><p>Trevor sighed, accepting the mug of ginger tea before sitting down. He brought the mug to lips before wrinkling his nose.</p><p>“It’ll be good for your stomach,” Rafael encouraged.</p><p>Trevor took a sip, grimacing at the taste. “I don’t suppose you’re drinking this, too?”</p><p>“Coffee,” he replied with a grin, prompting Trevor to mutter something under his breath, resting back further into the cushions.</p><p>Rafael’s grin softened to a smile, and he reached out to brush Trevor’s hair back off his forehead, skin burning to the touch.</p><p>“I’m okay,” Trevor mumbled, eyes slipping shut, and Rafael reached out to take the mug off him before he spilled it.</p><p>“Of course you are,” Rafael said softly, gently maneuvering Trevor until he was laying down.</p><p>He draped the blanket from the back of the lounge over Trevor’s body before pressing a soft kiss to his forehead, warmth blooming in his chest at the contented little noise that slipped past Trevor’s lips.</p>
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